


Fix it

by capsmightyshield



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, JARVIS runs the house as per usual, M/M, Science Bros, Steve Is a Good Bro, bruce tried to keep from hulking out, bucky can't move his arm, bucky doesn't talk, bucky is scared, bucky just wants his arm to work alright, bucky means no harm, everyone threatens bucky, science bros try to figure out how to fix Bucky's arm, steve asks tony for a favor, steve asks tony to fix it, the man's metal arm is fucked up, there were so many guns, well he says some words but he's mostly quiet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:50:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4027495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capsmightyshield/pseuds/capsmightyshield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending so long looking for Bucky, Steve thinks he should just give up.  After all The Winter Soldier was just a ghost story right?  Wrong. Bucky comes in search of Steve and finds he must ask his former (?) best friend for a favor.  His memories are shoddy at best but he does know that Steve said he'd be with him to the end of the line.  So what would a supposed Ghost Story need from the worlds first real superhero?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bucky finds Steve

**Author's Note:**

> I know nothing about how bucky's arm really works so if none of this makes sense that's why. I'm workin' with what I got and that's the knowledge that Bucky does indeed have a metal arm. I'm going to try though, for you guys.

"Mister Stark has requested your presence downstairs."  JARVIS' voice rang across the room, just after Steve sat his phone down on the coffee table in one of the tower's common rooms.  The one he was in was used mostly for movie nights, when there was particular movie the clan thought Steve should see that he's missed spending 70 years as a capscicle.  Steve groaned in anguish, "Should I tell him that you are not feeling it, sir?"  JARVIS, asked with as much concern as a disembodied AI could.  Steve looked around, wishing that for once he could see the voice that ran the entire household, but it was to no avail.

"No, I'll be down in a second." Steve answered, getting ready to push himself up off the couch and towards the elevator.

"Is is Mister Barnes again, sir?  You and Mister Wilson seem to be exhausting all possibilities as well as yourselves.  If you'd like I cou--"

"No, that's alright JARVIS, thanks for asking though.  Bucky was always one of the ones that if he didn't want to be found you couldn't find him, but he'll come around eventually, once he comes back to himself.  Then it'll be as easy as pie.  Now, where did you say Tony was?" Steve replied, the blue in his eyes shimmering with a mix of emotions, the most prominent one being sadness, for his seemingly lost best friend, and the other, gratefulness that somehow, even JARVIS was worried about Bucky.  It seemed after the story of how he, Sam, and Natasha with help had brought down SHIELD and Bucky's part in the whole thing, everyone had mixed feelings.  No one wanted to step on Steve's toes but the resounding unspoken, yet widely felt, decision was that trying to find him wasn't the best idea, but no one understood.  No one had, had someone in their lives like Steve had, had Bucky.  It wasn't something he could explain to them so that they would understand.  Sure Bucky had been recruited by HYDRA but that didn't change the fact that in Steve's mind, in his heart, the man with the metal arm was his best friend.  They'd promised each other more than once that they'd stay together until the end of the line, and even if Bucky couldn't remember it yet, Steve did and he was never one to go back on his promises.

"In his workshop sir, he wishes to bribe you in his direction with the prospect of kisses and his undying love."  Steve may have been deep in his thoughts, but JARVIS' bored tone when relaying Tony's sappy messages always seemed to get him to crack a smile.  Shaking his head, Steve walked toward the elevator, an old tune on his lips as he hummed.  JARVIS opened the doors, letting Steve into the elevator and down he went.  Steve continued humming, until the soft sounds of the song that had been just on his lips began to play in the elevator.  Steve smiled up at the ceiling, "Jarvis, would you consider a hug in the form of me embracing one of the walls of the tower?"  Steve chuckled to himself, his eyes still on the ceiling.

"Well sir, considering I am just a rather very intelligent system, I'm not sure if you should waste such affections on me.  However the appreciation is duly noted."  And with that the elevator stopped and the doors opened.  Steve could see Tony, barely, sticking out from underneath one of the many inventions he seemed to have drowned himself with.  He'd mentioned something about prototypes and being harangued by Pepper to fix somethings to help out the R&D department, so Steve had left Tony to his devices.  He'd been keeping him otherwise occupied, trying to break the overworking streak that Tony seemed to stubbornly keep up, but it was to no avail, especially not when Tony was trying not to let Pepper down.  He'd told Steve that he'd figured he'd spent years letting Pepper down, that it was about time he started surprising her by doing things better and with more try in his attempts to get the things done that Pepper tried not to fill his plate with.

As Steve stepped off the elevator the loud rock music was replaced by the song Steve had been humming, and Steve could only smile lightly to himself as he keyed in his code letting him into the disheveled space, that was Tony's life's work.  He chuckled shaking his head when he heard a loud bang and muted curse word as Tony popped up, smacking his head on whatever he'd been tinkering with.  "JARVIS, what did I tell you about my music?"

"I do apologize sir, but Steve was humming it on his way down and I thought he might like to actually hear it and I think you would enjoy it as well."  Jarvis' voice stopped and the song continued.  Steve closing his eyes as he hummed along much to Tony's chagrin.  He got up, wiping his dirty hands on an equally dirty rag, wiping the rest on his oil stained jeans.  Steve opened one eye as he watched Tony make his way towards him.  The grin on his face could not be suppressed any longer, not that it ever could as far as Tony was concerned.

"Alright pull my leg why don't you.  Jarvis, add this to the bedroom playlist if you will, darling." Tony said, rolling his eyes and contradicting the small smile that played across his features.

"As you wish, sir."

"I believe I was promised kisses and undying love." Steve muttered, this time, opening his other eye and accepting Tony into his arms as the man tried to practically bury himself in Steve's shoulder and chest.

"That was just a bribe to get you here but I guess I can put a smile on an old man's face, just this once.  Consider it my good deed of the day."  Steve could practically hear the smirk in Tony's voice, but before he could say anything Tony's lips were on his.  The larger blond man didn't stop his hands from finding a perch on Tony's hips, pulling him deeper into the kiss.  

It had taken the two awhile to get to this point.  It was no secret that Tony had rode Steve's nerves daily and that Steve's old fashioned ways had ground Tony's gears to the point where the two had almost come to blows on many occasions.  It was Fury's idea to isolate them together for an amount of time until they proved that they could at least be amicable enough not to get each other and the team killed when out on missions.  Steve and Tony had sat in silence for hours, until Tony couldn't take it anymore and suddenly he was ranting and raving about how Steve had been all he'd heard about his entire life, and how, how dare he be every bit the man his father had always said he was because how was Tony supposed to hate him for aiding in his crappy childhood when he was the living legend that lived up to the legend.  That rant had led to Steve's own rant that maybe he was tired of everyone looking at him that way.  He didn't mind being a symbol of American pride but people needed to realize that he wasn't a freakin' saint and that he had his own flaws and demons and that maybe he just wanted to be Steve sometimes and not 'Captain Rogers'.  After that, chests were heaving and breath was heavy and one thing led to another.  Now, Nick Fury won't say that he saw it coming, but he will say that it was the highest likely of two very opposing options.

Tony pulled away from the kiss that he was sharing with his partner, pressing light kisses along the corner of his mouth to his jaw, pressing his nose into the soft hairless cheek of the super soldier.  He sighed as he pulled away brown eyes staring sincerely into bright blue.  "Jarvis said you were on the phone with Sam--"

The soldier groaned, pulling away from Tony and plopping down on an unoccupied chair.  "Let's not do this alright, Tony?  I really don't want to do this right now."  Steve drug his hand down his face before  looking back over at Tony.

"Steve you don't--"

"No, Tony I really think I do.  I get it, you guys think that looking for Bucky is not only a lost cause but one I shouldn't even be worried about because of what happened to him.  But that's not his fault, it's mine.  It's my fault he fell off that train and it's my fault that Hydra found him, and turned him into this, this winter soldier."  He huffed, shaking his head, "None of you understand.  The organization you spent your life hoping to bring down didn't take your best friend and turn him into a killing machine with a freaking metal arm, Tony.  I promised... we promised... until the end of the line Tony, and as long as we're both alive the line hasn't ended."  Steve stood up, careful not to pull away angrily when Tony tried to catch his shoulder.  He wasn't angry, he was just frustrated and hurt and he just needed to know that Bucky was okay, even if that meant only seeing him long enough to determine just that.

"Steve don't, I'm sorry, it's just... we all see how hard this is on you and we just want you to be okay." Tony replied, his voice soft and his hand resting on STeve's shoulder lightly.

"I'll be okay once I find my best friend.  Look I can't, I need to get some air, and you need to eat I know you've been down here by yourself all day, so.  I'll just go down to the diner around the corner that you refuse to admit you like.  Just call me if you want anything specific."  Steve smiled, but it did nothing to brighten his eyes like his normal smile did.  He turned, long enough to lean in and press a quick kiss to Tony's lips, and before Tony could even get a word in edgewise he was in the elevator and gone.

************************************************

Steve walked into the diner, baseball cap firmly planted on his head, his converse squeaking against the tiled floor.  He waved at the woman behind the counter who offered him a genuine smile waving him over to his usual table.  He hadn't planned on staying long but now that he thought about it, he wasn't in a hurry to get back.  Sighing he walked over to the table, eyes on the floor as he removed his cap, tucking it in his back pocket.  So he didn't see the man sitting at the table until he slid in to the booth.

When he finally looked up, Steve's eyes went wide at the man sitting across from him.  He was covered in dirt and his hair was greasy and dirty and longer than it had been out on the overpass all those months ago.  The emotions rolling through the super soldier couldn't be described, relief was a huge one, but also concern for the man who seemed to be struggling.  The man's eyes were watery and sad looking, a distressed look on once distinguished features.  His lips were pressed into a thin line and it looked like it was taking everything within him to try not to shake and shiver against the blueberry colored vinyl.

"Bucky..." Steve breathed out, looking at his best friend, he hated saying former because it implied Bucky was no longer his friend and that wasn't the case, Bucky would always be his best friend the man just couldn't remember that.  As Steve breathed out, the name the Hyda recruited assassin winced, not at all used to being anything but The Winter Soldier.  Steve heard a mechanical clicking sound, one that didn't sound at all good as Bucky winced again, moving to set his most distinct feature on the table.

"Fix it."

Steve looked at him, a confused look crossing strong features.  He wasn't sure what the man across him was referring to, "Fix what?"

Bucky just looked at Steve as if trying to convey without words exactly what he was talking about.  More mechanical clicking could be heard, and a jilted whirring sound followed by what sounded almost like static.  Bucky's eyes widened, going back to normal a second later as he looked around.  His eyes traveled down his arm, to where the metal fingers moved stiffly one by one clenching towards his palm but not quite getting close enough to close into a fist.  He looked back up at Steve eyes determined as he opened his mouth to once again say, "Fix it."

Steve's eyes travelled the length of the greasy and gritty looking metal arm.  The sounds he could hear as Bucky tried to move it sounded like a broken down car on the side of the highway and suddenly it clicked, as he watched Bucky's fingers try to move into a fist but failing miserably.  "Bucky, what's wrong with your arm?"

Bucky looked at him, shoulders huffing in anguish, as if to say if he knew he wouldn't have needed to come find Captain America himself.  "On that craft you said... and I can't... fix it, please?"


	2. Use Words not Guns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve brings Bucky back to the tower and everyone kinda has a conniption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty Steven is angsty. Protective Avengers are Protective of their Captain. This is where the tag so many guns comes from... there were so many including Bucky's. Anyway I hope this is some kinda good? leave a comment and let me know? Steve just wants to help Bucky and Bucky just wants his damn arm fixed.

Considering Steve had walked to the diner the only way to get him back to the tower was to walk him there.  It took quite a few minutes to get Bucky on board with the idea of possibly being seen out in public, but in the end it was something he'd have to do.  That didn't stop him from trying to be inconspicuous as possible though.  He was used to not being seen until the time called for it, so being out on the sidewalks, even at night, wasn't something he was comfortable with.  It was even more uncomfortable with his arm continuing to lose function at the rate it was. His memories were shoddy at best but he remembered enough to know that for some reason Captain America seemed to want to help him rather than kill him and that had been what he'd gone on.  The flashes of a skinny but sickly kid, with a face resembling the one behind the stars and stripes and a voice that seemed to be his telling that kid, that things would be alright and what he'd learned at the museum was all he really had to go on.

Steve eyed Bucky as they walked down the street.  The man he once knew stuck to the side of him that was dark.  He avoided street lights and his eyes never seemed to stop shifting.  The blond man wanted to say something, wanted to talk to the older man, but he found he didn't even know where to start.  In looks and physicality the man beside him was definitely James, but he knew that in the brunette's _mind_ he was far removed from the man he used to be.  Steve wasn't sure if he had come to grips with that yet.  It was something he knew, but it wasn't something he was ready to fully admit.  He wanted Bucky back, he wanted to have that sense of brotherhood that he knew was missing from his heart.  What he'd had with Bucky was something different than the kind of camaraderie he shared with Sam, and it was entirely different from the relationship he shared with Tony.  Bucky had been there through everything, and had never wavered.  He'd stuck by his side through all the diseases, asthma attacks, and even the lying on his enlistment forms, and he'd still been there after the super soldier serum had been introduced.  Bucky had never once changed his view of Steve, even after he'd come out of that pod bigger, stronger, and faster than him, he still treated him like that punk kid, who could barely take in a good breath on his best day.  However, every time Steve looked into the other man's eyes he could see that, that man was mostly gone.  There was still maybe a sharp jagged broken shard of the Bucky he once knew, but the experimentation, the electroshock, the icing, and whatever else they'd done to him had practically blew the rest of him away.

Sighing Steve stuffed his hands into his pockets as they rounded the corner, coming up on the tower.  He had no idea how he was going to get Bucky in without everyone trying to off the man as soon as they laid eyes on him.  Especially since the only person's location he was aware of was Tony's and that was assuming Tony hadn't left his workshop since he'd walked out in a huff.  The blond turned to the 'Winter Soldier' watching as he took a step back from the massive building.  The sheer amount of building would intimidate anyone and it seemed Bucky was no different.  Although his wasn't out of an anxiousness to know that on probably every other floor there was someone who could possibly kick his ass, but more out of anxiety at being in a foreign place without being able to wholly defend himself.

"Buck-- I mean," Steve looked at the other man, whose eyes had turned to him as he once again tensed in an effort to keep from shivering and shaking with anxiety, "James, you're going to have to come in.  The only people I know who can help are in here, and they can't do it from out here."  Steve tried not to grimace at calling him James.  It sounded so formal and weird coming from him but he wasn't sure if the brunette before him would continue to enjoy being called by a name he could hardly remember.

"They all want to kill me."  Was all the Bucky said.  It wasn't a question, nor a fact just a statement he uttered as his eyes shifted before landing back on Steve.  He hated to admit it but Bucky was mostly right.  The only person in the tower who didn't explicitly want to kill the metal armed man was Bruce, and that was just based on his principles and the respect he held for Steve's opinion.  Not that the other's didn't respect Steve or his opinions it was just that in this case they all thought that maybe he was just holding on too tight to something that he should've let go.

"They don't... _all_ **_want_** to kill you," Cap replied with a stammer, trying to convince Bucky with a look of reassurance, that he knew utterly failed when the other man's own gaze hardened.  "Look, some of them, yeah, aren't very fond of you but there's nothing I can do but ask the people in there for their help, so you're just going to have to trust that I won't let them even try to harm you."  Steve shrugged at the end as that was really all he had to offer in terms of assistance and safety for the slightly vulnerable assassin.

Bucky looked at him, and gave another huff before giving a short nod that he would go into the building with Steve.  He just wanted his arm back to normal so that he could go back into hiding where he belonged.  He didn't have anywhere to belong anymore.  With Hydra gone and his memories ramming into him, at random intervals, one by one like a hijacked train, he just needed some place where he could just be and in society wasn't it.  He was an asset and nothing more, not even this 'Bucky' person that the super soldier in front of him continued to insist upon.

Steve walked up to the door, motioning for Bucky to follow.  He keyed in a few numbers and the door slowly opened allowing both of them to enter.  "I see you've returned Captain Rogers and with a guest, shall I tell everyone you've returned." Bucky immediately tensed, looking around as he shrank back into the wall behind him.  Steve wanted to facepalm for forgetting that Jarvis would of course greet him upon returning, and it was something he hadn't warned the other man about.  Bucky continued to look around trying to find where the voice was coming from as he moved back towards the door, which swiftly shut.  That was when thing really went bad, as Bucky began to try and pry the door open, wincing in pain at trying to use the mostly useless chunk of metal attached to his shoulder.

"Bucky stop --" Was all Steve got out before being practically tossed into the wall as the malfunctioning metal arm swatted him like a bat, sending him full force.  Standing back up Steve made a few quick calculations and with one leap, rebounded of the wall and landed in the perfect position getting Bucky into a half nelson sleeper hold.  "Bucky stop, it's just Jarvis, he's a computer program that runs the house.  He can't, well he can, but he won't hurt you he's genuinely a very nice, albeit sarcastic, but very complacent program."  Steve managed as Bucky fought against him trying to remove the hold on him.  The whirring in his metal arm seemed to get louder the more he tried to use it, and bucky clawed at Steve's forearm with his other gloved hand.

"Let go." Bucky managed out of breath from the hold.

"Not until you stop struggling.  if you want help you'll have to stay and it sounds like your arm is getting worse and worse.  You won't find anyone out there who can help you the way Tony can, I promise you that.  Just, you asked for my help, so let me help."  After a few more seconds of struggling, Bucky finally gave in, tapping Steve's elbow kinda harshly as a signal to get him to let go.  Slowly Steve released the hold, his hands up in a peaceful manner as he backed away, not standing to far but not standing to close either, as he waited to see if Bucky would try and bolt again.  When he didn't, Steve straightened himself out.  "Don't alert anyone that I'm back Jarvis, just can you tell me where Tony is at?"

"I'm sorry, sir.  Your request came too late, my safety protocols kicked in when Mister Barnes tossed you across the room."

Sure enough as soon as Jarvis accent stopped the door was basically blasted open and everyone stood, weapons ready.  Steve heard the cocking of a gun from behind him and realized he was badly positioned in the middle of what he would later describe as a sort of Mexican stand off.  He turned sideways so he was facing the door, but could see everyone out of his peripheral vision.  Holding his hands up peacefully again he looked at his team, blue eyes willing them to understand.  He could see that Tony wasn't in the full suit hands wrapped in armor, repulsors ready to fire.  Natasha had both guns out and her widow's bites were glowing blue.  Clint's bow was already pulled taught an arrow in his hold.  While Thor was crouched Hammer ready to take out whatever threat could possibly be trying to invade their home.  Bruce nor the other guy, however, were anywhere to be seen.

"Guys, this, is Bucky.  Or as you all may know him, The Winter Soldier."  Steve spoke slowly, eyes still pleading with them all to understand.  "He's not here to kill anyone or hurt anyone so can we all please just," He began pushing his teams weapons out of the way, giving them all the same look as he did so, "try not to kill each other please?" He turned to Bucky, pushing the man's gun toward the floor the other man's eyes shifting back and forth between each of Steve's team members.  He heard Natasha say something softly in Russian, and when Bucky responded his gun went right back up into position and so did his team's weapons.

"Guys seriously, knock it off." Steve pushed everyone's weapons down again, looking at them sternly, including Bucky.

"How'd you find him Steve?  I thought you and Sam kept running into dead ends." Natasha asked, fingers still pressed onto the triggers of her guns, but her eyes were now on Steve's.

"I didn't find him, he found me." Cap answered, stepping back so that now he was standing on one side of Bucky, looking at his team.

"Why, why after all this time, would you come looking for him?  He's spent months going on countless missions and ops looking for you.  Why now all of a sudden would you decide to grace him with your presence?"  This time it was Tony who spoke, but not to Steve, he was speaking directly to Bucky, eyes narrowed and voice defensive.  Steve looked at his friend whose eyes also narrowed as he took Tony in.

Bucky looked at all of them, before zeroing back in on Tony.  He lifted his arm in the same manner as he had with Steve, this time with much more effort.  The whirring was loud, and clicking noises sounded even more dangerous.  Bucky's fingers barely moved this time around, and it seemed to only make him angrier.  "Fix it." Were again, his only words as he looked between Steve and Tony, his arm continuing to make noise between them.

At that statement his team straightened up putting their weapons away.  It seemed that without his arm, they didn't see the former Hydra assassin as a threat.  The only one who who seemed at all phased was Tony.

"You want what, you want me to give you back your greatest weapon.  Why, why should I?  So you can go back to killing people for a living?"  Tony sounded hysterically harassed, his eyes wide as he looked at the two out of time soldiers standing in front of them.  "Steve did you tell him I'd do this?"

Steve looked down, blue eyes looking anywhere but at his boyfriend, as his hand came up to scratch nervously at the back of his neck.  "Look with Hydra and Shield both gone he has nowhere else to go. No one to go on kill missions for so basically he's decommissioned.  I brought him here because he's my friend Tony and I thought you'd understand.  You keep telling me you understand, you all do.  Every time I bring him up you all are quick to tell me how much you understand.  How much you all want this to end so I can be okay.  Yeah well here's the end, here's the one person who can make it end and you all are so quick to try and brush him or even kill him.  Which goes to show me that all of you are liars.  None of you understand how hard this has been for me.  He just wants his arm fixed, it's a part of him, there's nothing he can do about it.  He can't take it off or live without it, and he clearly needs it fixed because it sounds like it's trying tear itself apart from the inside out.  He doesn't have to stay long, and you all can go on about your merry way, hating the one thing that still exists from my past, the only truly good thing that I had during such a rough time in my day.  Just tell me if you're going to fix him or not so I can try and find someone who will."

"But Steve--" He cut off the red haired woman, with a hand in the air shaking his head.

"There is no but Steve, there's only the answer to my question.  Tony, are you going to help him or not?"


	3. I'm with you (part 1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony have a lovers spat. Natasha and Bucky argue in Russian. Bruce is the only one being a true Brostaff to Steve, whilst also being mega science bros with Tony. And Bucky remembers, and also says the most words he'll say in the entire story.
> 
> Or
> 
> The chapters where JARVIS continues to be the smartest person in the house and the author uses Bucky to tell a very very important story to Tony... and Bruce hears too, but he's NOT that kind of doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has been cut into two parts because this first part got way too long but don't worry the story Bucky is itching to tell is coming!

“Steve you cannot be seriously asking me to do this?  I know you’ve been looking for him and having him show up to find you is like a dream come true, but that arm is a weapon.  He’s used it to make countless kills and you want me to just give it back to him?  Hydra couldn’t have been the only group out their looking for an assassin, and with him out in the open now, if I give him his arm back, there’s no telling who’ll come out of the woodwork to find him.” Tony was frantic, as he looked at Steve both with concern and bewilderment.  He’d do anything for Steve, he loved the guy more than he could admit, even to himself, but he couldn’t seriously be asking him to put people in danger like this.

“JARVIS, is there a more private place we could talk?” Steve asked, exasperation and frustration pouring over his words.

“Of course, Captain.  If you’ll just take a few steps back the elevator seems the perfect place.” Was the AI’s response.  Steve grabbed Tony by the elbow and he looked over his shoulder requesting Nat to keep an eye on Bucky while he spoke with Tony.  The ex-assassin grumbled something in Russian that caused Natasha to snap back but with a raised eyebrow and a shimmer of amusement in her eyes when she turned to nod at Steve.  He nodded back and then followed behind as he shuffled Tony into the elevator.  He turned facing Tony, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.

"It's his arm, Tony!  As much a part of him as the Reactor is of you.  Is it life or death if he has it. no, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need it.  God, it's like you can't see where I'm coming from here.  You don't have to like him, and you don't even have to try but he's in crisis, and as someone who knows what it's like to have your brain throwing ruined and horrible memories at you, I'd think you'd have some sympathy.  He barely knows who he is, and all he wants, the one thing, is for his arm to work.  It's a part of him and there's nothing he can do about it, but how is he supposed to live with it if it won't work?  And to add on, we're a group of heroes and assassins if anyone did come looking for him, I think we could handle it.  I just," his voice lowered the frustration in his eyes shifting to sadness and even exhaustion, "He's been taking care of me my whole life, Tony and when he fell from that train I thought I'd never see him again, and then when I saw him on the bridge and he didn't even know who I was it almost killed me.  I owe him, I owe him so much and he's never asked me for anything.  Even if he's not himself, it's the first time he's asked me for anything and for once I might be able to help, he deserves that much, at least from me.  So just, I'm not asking for him, I'm asking for me.  Do this for me, Tony, please."

Tony hadn't said a word, didn't even make to interrupt as he listened to Steve speak.  It wasn't often Steve got like this, worked up and angsty, at least not unless he was nagging Tony about his safety.  Steve had passion and heart for many things, and moreso for people than anything.  He'd watched for months as Steve ran around the world with Sam looking for the man who now sat in their common room.  He'd watched and soothed away the sadness every single time Steve came home repeating that he had just been one street corner away from seeing his best friend again.  He wanted to be angry at Steve and at Bucky, mostly Bucky, and he mostly succeeded, but when he watched the look on Steve's face change from one of determination to one of sadness and hope that he could have his friend back again, it made him relax.

The genius sighed and placed his hand on the spot where Steve's jaw and neck met, his thumb rubbing back and forth at his jawline trying to ease the tension from it.  "If it's that important to you then I'll do it, Steve. For you.  I'll get Bruce to help and, and I'll try to do what I can, but can I ask you something?"

"Tony if --"

"Just, hear me out Steve.  You said that you owe him, that he's been taking care of you, your whole life... but that was the Bucky from nineteen forty-five, I know he's your best friend and I know you want to fix things, but what if it turns out that he'll never be _your_ Bucky again?  What if he's doomed to be this half winter soldier, half Bucky hybrid for the rest of his unnaturally enhanced life?  I just want you to look at every outcome because, because I love you Steve and I've seen you crushed because of him constantly running away from you, and I don't think I could stand to see that look become permanent because the man you know isn't the man that's out there arguing in Russian with Nat."

Steve sighed and nodded, reaching up and placing his hand over Tony's.  He took it down and held it in his own, much larger one, twining their fingers together.  His blue eyes stared into honey brown as he chewed the inside of his lip for an answer.  If he were honest he didn't know what he'd do if Bucky was somehow stuck like he was now, with only vague memories of who he really was, and more memories of who he'd become.  What **_would_** he do if he was doing all this and the one thing he wanted, his best friend, was nowhere to be found in the aftermath.

"You know what Tony, I don't know... I don't.  But what else do I have to hold onto? I have to have some kind of hope that the man I knew, the guy who spent most of his time making sure I'd taken all of my meds, and not once cared what people thought of him for being the best friend of that skinny sickly Rogers kid, is still there, even if it's only a little bit.  I'm not sure how I'll feel or what I'll do if he's not there anymore, but until a time comes that, that can be confirmed I have to act like, that Bucky, <i>my</i> Bucky, is still in there somewhere.  If no one else will have that hope or faith, then he deserves to have it from me at least."

***************************************************************

"JARVIS give us a complete body scan as well as vitals, would ya buddy?" Tony looked warily at the man in the chair next to his work station.  Bruce had been found and made aware of the situation at hand, and had immediately made his way into the lab with Tony.  He'd offered Steve a concerned and sympathetic shoulder touch and look before joining Tony in a rolling chair on the opposite side of Bucky.  Steve hadn't been able to be talked out of joining them.  He might never understand what they were talking about, but he wanted to be there for Bucky.  To help keep him in some kind of calm or at least less likely to try and hurt anyone unnecessarily.  He was perched on a chair that sat in front of the ex-assassin and offered him a soft smile when he jerked at the light that scanned over him.

"It's alright, Buck.  It can't hurt you, JARVIS is a pretty good guy when it comes to making people comfortable."

"You're a truly generous man, Captain." The AI's voice sounded as it always did, monotone and English, but sometimes Steve felt he could detect a bit of emotion sometimes, even thought Tony told him he was just imagining things.  Steve was about to say something else when he felt something nudge at his shoulder.  He turned around and the smile on his face widened.

"Dummy!  Long time no see.  Has Tony been treating you right?"  The question was followed by a few animated chirps, an opening and closing of his single claw and then a few sad beeps, followed by what could only be described as a depressing whir.  "Is that so?  Well maybe he'll let you help, this time.  He's helping my friend over there.  Dummy, meet Bucky Barnes, though you might have heard him in this lab as the Winter Soldier."  Dummy chirped, his arm dipping up and down as if in a nod.  His claw opened and closed hopefully in Tony's direction, his chirps and beeps becoming high pitched, as if in excitement.  Steve placed a hand on his arm, smoothing against the rough metal, as if petting the saddest but most potential filled puppy.

"Steve, don't get his hopes up, or even pretend you understand him.  What are you the machine whisperer?  That's supposed to be me."  Tony rolled his eyes as he eyed Dummy before turning to his screens, pulling up all the things JARVIS had given him about the other soldier in his lab.  He was going to address Steve and Dummy again but was stopped as he looked over everything he saw.  "JARVIS look through all of SHIELDs old files, the ones Nat spilled on the net, and anything you have from our gathered intelligence on HYDRA and see if you can get me a schematic please?"

"Of course, sir."

"Do you mind if I?" Bruce asked looking toward, Bucky his hands up just in case the super soldier was not in the mood for what he was asking.  Bucky looked stoically at Bruce and then questioningly at Steve, who still had his arm around the softly whirring machine at his side, affectionately.

"He's okay, he just needs to see your arm.  If you say no, Tony's looking for a blueprint, and it'll be alright." Steve relied, offering another soft but reassuring smile in his old friend's direction.  Bucky looked at him then back at Bruce looking the man up and down, as if waiting to see if he would explode or cause him some kind of harm.  He seemed to decide that neither would happen and offered his arm, stretching it out as best he could under the circumstances.  The whirring of his arm was loud and only seemed to have gotten worse in the time between his finding Steve and now.

Bruce moved slowly, fingers gingerly running along the metal plates of the arm.  Feeling how they were meant to slot together, and frowning in places they didn't do what they were supposed to.  He did this all the way up Bucky's metal arm, from fingertip to shoulder.  The older man's fingers stopped at the juncture where skin became metal and looked at Bucky for further permission, the man nodded once and looked away, his eyes empty and turned towards the ceiling.  Bruce continued his exploration over skin that was warmer than normal.  He knew this was a side of the serum, as Steve had once explained to him when he'd taken his vitals and was surprised at his core body temperature.  Bruce followed the shoulder up along Bucky's clavicle, muttering to himself, pushing his glasses up as he followed around towards Bucky's shoulder blade and a few inches down his spine before taking his hands away and let his fingers begin to whisk away on his tablet.

"It's incredible, they rebuilt his entire arm and shoulder girdle, as well as a few vertebra." Bruce spoke, his eyes directed at Tony.

"Schematic found, sir.  It seems as though this technology was very ahead of it's time. Sgt. James' prosthesis is made of a mixture of steel and titanium plates with several mechanical parts that work together to create the motion of a humerus, radius, ulna, metacarpals, carpals, and phalanges.  It's temperature is kept up by --"

"Are those... is that synthetic nerve tissue?" Tony gaped, his fingers disrupting the holographic picture as he pointed at what he was speaking about.

"Yes, sir," the AI's voice continued as if Tony hadn't interjected, "Several man made synthetic nerve tissues and fibers have been created to affix the arm to the parts of his brain that focus on movement and temperature regulation, as well as several running from the vertebra that were replaced, to the part of his brain that help to recognize the device as a part of him rather than just an unnecessary intrusion.  It's seems that Dr. Erskine and your father were not the only scientist in the nineteen forties that were showing the world glimpses into the future."

Tony whipped around to lok at Bucky, his eyes scanning the man in front of him with less vague disdain and more interest.  Steve noticed he had that look in his eyes, the one he got, when he had an idea for new tech, or an upgrade to one of the suits.  Clint called it his "mad scientist" look, and in this instance it seemed to fit.  The engineer wheeled around to Bucky's left side, his eyes zeroing in, in earnest, on the arm that he before had no interest in working with whatsoever.

"So you're telling me that he can feel it?" Tony asked to no one in particular.

"Bucky can you try making a fist for us and then tell us what you feel?" Bruce asked, seeing as how Tony was lost in his own world, probably running calculations, and ways to see if he could scrap the arm completely and build a brand new one from scratch.

Bucky looked apprehensive about the thought of saying anything, but complied with Bruce's wishes, and tried to clench his fingers together.  He winced, grunting in pain as he tried to move the fingers of his left hand together.  Tony made a note to JARVIS to catalog what was going on inside Bucky's arm so they could work out exactly what was wrong with it, even as he continued to look at the metal arm with awe.

"It feels like when your arm falls asleep and you move too fast trying to wake it up.  But like your arm was made up of cars and instead of a small sting of pain, it feels like all of the cars smash into each other at once, as if the fenders are grinding together, and the hubcaps of the cars bang together and the sound vibrates through your arm.  It feels like someone put a large piece of coal in my hand and told me to squeeze it into a diamond, but there are lots of jagged edges and your skin gets caught no matter how you try and move the stone."  Steve stared, as Bucky spoke, it was the most he'd said since, well since they'd met on that bridge.  He wasn't sure if it was the man's voice, sounding just like his best friend, but nothing like him, all at the same time, or if it was what he was saying, but it cause Steve to stand abruptly.  Dummy whirring sadly, as Steve turned to leave.

He didn't know hearing Bucky say that sent the guilt in him spiraling but it did.  It felt worse than any nightmare he had that left him cold and shivering and gasping for air.  It felt worse than any physical wound he'd ever received, and he didn't know why.  It was like a gnawing in his gut that had started with Bucky's first word and grown exponentially as if trying to swallow him all the way up until Bucky stopped talking.  He was about to step around Dummy and make his exit but was stopped by the one phrase he'd heard over and over since that day on the train.

"It wasn't your fault." Bucky stated, looking directly and intently in Steve's direction.  His lips were in a shape that Steve knew well as one that his friend had used many a time in not only scolding him but also waiting for him to step outside himself and see how big of an idiot he was acting.  Bucky had always been able to say more with a look than he ever had with words, and despite the set of his lips, Bucky's eyes told Steve, that he wasn't just saying it, that he meant it, and that Steve better shut up and cut the crap.

"Bucky I--"

"No.  I don't remember a lot of things, but I remember somethings and I when it's a reoccurring nightmare it's not something easily forgotten.  Like right now I remember how stubborn you could always be, how you felt like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders and carried it because you felt like you had to prove something.  I remember that look in your eye, from the times you felt guilty that people poked fun at me for wanting to be your best friend, and I remember that day on the train--"

"Buck--"

"It's _not_ your fault."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been reading a lot of Stuckony/Winter Stony and I saw Civil War again (I promise this story is non civil war compliant because i started it light years before the movie even let a trailer out) so if somehow this story morphs into a m/m/m you know why ~~i'm weak as hell~~


End file.
